Thursday, 15 October 2015

Just What I Needed

If you've been reading my posts over the last few years, you know that life has felt kind of overwhelming at times.  It has even felt at times like there was no way to get out from under this huge cloud over me.

Here's a quick recap for those who dont know:  I had a miscarriage, then had a really hard time physically while my body tried to go back to "normal", then I got pregnant again fairly quickly (can you say hello hormones?!?), and was quite sick.  Then my Aunt passed away after a short 6 week battle with cancer.  It was a difficult time for me, and the kids as I tried to figure out how to explain death, heaven and how God can take people away from us, but still love us.  Then their GGPa was in the hospital most of the summer.  Then their Supergran passed away.  Then GGPa passed away.  And then we had a baby girl (an amazing gift), but their lives were turned upside down all over again.  And then they lost their Great Grandpa. And then they lost their Grandma to breast cancer after a short hospital/hospice stay.  And then 6 weeks later, their Grandpa remarried and they had a new Grandma.

Wow, it tires me out just typing that, much less thinking what the last little while has been like for us. It has been emotionally, physically and spiritually draining.

I'm not saying great things weren't happening.  It just felt like as soon as we'd get a little good, we'd be buried in difficult.  We managed to show love to a lot of people, we got to hear amazing stories about lives that have been changing our little world for over 90 years.  We got more family time.  We lost some family, but we gained some too!  And while it was difficult, it has to be part of his plan.  All of it.

This week we had some challenging days.  You know those days when you feel like you should just crawl back under the covers and try again tomorrow?  And so while I was bathing my beautiful little baby, I was on my knees praying too.  I was praying that His strength would get us through.  I was praying that I have such a hard time letting go of control and that I need His help to just let go.  I needed to now that He has this.  He has me in the palm of his hand, and it will all be okay.  It will be better than okay.

And you know what?  The very next day, the things that were broken got fixed.  Easier than we thought they could.  At no monetary cost to us even!  And I got to spend some extra time filling up my children's memory banks.


And then I checked the mail and got a advanced reading copy of a book from one of my favourite authors.  A funny, down to earth, relatable woman who just loves God, and her family.  And now I have the privilege of spending some extra time with God, while I preview this book.  A book all about how I don't have to do it all.  I will be blogging my way through the book, so follow along and see what I learned.

Just what I needed!!