It's hard, isn't it, this always being on call? It feels like we are always being pulled in 60 different directions at once, and we don't really know which way to head first.
At church this morning, we heard a message from an out of town speaker, who wanted to share his story. He was raised in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, and as a teenager, decided sports were much more important than pursuing Jesus. So he didn't.
Then one day, he chose to go to Thailand with Youth With a Mission. He was going to use his basketball skills to reach out to the lost teenagers. Except what he didn't realize was that they didn't actually like basketball.
Enter Plan B. He met a man who spent the 70's as many spent the 70's, wearing tie dye clothes, long hair, and having an attitude of free spiritedness. Right up until that man met Jesus. He was never the same again. And now he was mentoring this kid who hadn't really turned his back on the Lord, but had never really tried to get to know him either.
Plan B included going to Bible school in Asia, planting churches, learning to preach and heal, and becoming so passionate about all of these things that he stopped pursuing God again. He was so busy pursuing others in the name of God, that he forgot to spend time just talking to God.
After a few years, he was so burnt out, he had to come back home to rest. His body and soul were starving.
My life feels like that some days. I get so busy trying to raise my kids up with manners and morals that I forget that I can't receive the rest He promises to all of us who are weary and burdened.
I have to stop. I have to listen. And I have to remember that He is faithful. He will give me the strength to get through my days, if only I would stop trying to have all of the strength myself.
He will fill in all of the holes I will leave in my imperfection, if only I trust Him to do so.
He will help me to rest in His peace, if I could just slow down and seek him.
He is faithful. It is us that need to be still.
So to all of my fellow parents, who feel like this part will never end, have faith that it will. And it will be filled with children who don't need us so much anymore, and we can finally rest. At least until they are teens. Then just maybe, we will wish for the days that we are in the midst of right now.
But to get there, without feeling like a continual train is hitting us, we need to rely on His promises, not our own "strength".
Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for these beautiful children. I am blessed that you have chosen to give them to me, even on the days where I feel so unprepared to have them. I pray that you would give me wisdom and grace, each and every day. I ask that you would fill in any gaps that I leave, as I am sure to leave them. I pray that you would let me see them through your eyes in those hard stages, so that I would be able to show them your unshakeable love. I pray that you would help me to rest in your when I feel weary and burdened, and that you would hold me up with your unfailing strength. And most of all, I pray that I would know, deep down, that I am never alone. In faith I pray. Amen.