I Know How It Ends

My husband always laughs at me.  Whenever I get a new book, I read the end of it so that I know how it ends.

He can't believe that I would want to wreck a new story by finding out how it all turns out.  It would drive him nutty to know how it ends before he starts.

For me, I feel like I can handle whatever happens  at the beginning and middle, as long as I know how it all turns out. 

I still want all the details.  I love to know all of the little steps and decisions that got them to that outcome.  I just want the peace of knowing the outcome.

My chapters have brought me through many mountains and valleys, and I'd like to think that I have many more to experience.  

And some days, I really question how I'm going to get through this.  I don't know how that last little part of the chapter or story plays out, and it's hard.  It's hard to take the next step when you don't trust your feet.

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but I know how this ends.  I know who wins.  Good will prevail.  It may not be today, but at the very end, where it's important, good wins.  

And for those of us who believe in Him, who believe he took our sins, paid the ultimate price and rose again.  We know the end.  God wins. 

We know that all of these challenges and triumphs will pale in comparison to the prize we have waiting for us.

So friends, as we go about our days, I challenge you to remember that we know the end of the story.  We know that love wins.  And that is really all that you could ever ask for.

On The Outside

We spent a part of this last week at a homeschool event, which means we had to travel.  I don't know how many of you travel with small children, but I can say that travelling with my particular small children is always an adventure.

Our week started with working really hard to get some projects finished. 

Then our 8 year old German Shepherd had a stroke.  This is our 8 year old Sweetie's best friend.  He seems to be recovering okay, so far.

Then we hit the road.  The journey to our destination actually went by really fast.  We made our habitual stop an hour into our trip, stocked up on snacks, and went on our way.  We stopped again for lunch and some more books at Value Village.  And we made it to our hotel in record time.

Then the event was wonderful.  The kids were in a day camp, and got to do so many cool things.  And my friend and I got to shop for our supplies for next year, and just relax.  It was a much needed chance to recharge.

I love homeschooling.  Most days.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.  I love being there with my kids when they discover how to read.  Or follow a rabbit trail to a new passion.  It is an amazing thing to be able to teach my children how to love to learn rather than how to worry about tests.  At this age, we don't have to do tests.  

And I know that homeschooling doesn't work for every family.  Just like private schools don't fit all families, and neither to public schools.  I am only talking about what it working for my family right now, so please know I mean no offense.

We stayed another day so that we could have the chance to catch up with a few friends.  And enjoy big city shopping.  And then we started on our way home.

We stopped about halfway home to stay the night as a special treat.  For our dinner out, we chose a restaurant we hadn't been to before.  Talk about adventure.  Our waitress seemed to be having an awful night.  At least judging by our experience.  She got our drink order wrong.  Then we waited for what seemed like forever (it was actually only 45 minutes) and still didn't have our food.  When it came, it was wrong too.  And my salad was filled with gross, slimy brown lettuce.

And all I could do was try to smile.  Because my kids are learning at every opportunity.  Even the ones where I'd rather they not be watching.  You see, I wanted to give this establishment my entire opinion.  Of how, after a long day of travel, with 3 small children, 2 of whom have hidden disabilities, the last thing I needed was to have the hassle of trying to explain this to my kids.  Or to have to keep them contained in a restaurant for an extended period of time.  

You see, on the outside, I have 3 cute, healthy, energetic kids.  And on the inside, those kids have disabilities that aren't easily recognized.  Ones that make waiting and understanding things like this very difficult.  Ones that are draining.  Especially when they aren't expected.

And as I sat there, trying to paste a smile on my face to show my children that you can be nice, even in continuously trying circumstances, I wondered what I wasn't seeing on the outside for them too.  Maybe they had had a trying week too.  Maybe someone they loved was struggling with health.  Or maybe finances were a huge concern.  Maybe their kids were going through something particularly difficult.  I don't know, because on the outside, all of us adults were smiling.

I know that this was just one small blip on my radar, and that in a month I won't even remember our awful dinner experience.  But after homeschooling my kids and knowing how closely they are watching me, I do know that every day gives you new chances to make the choice to give grace, even when its hard.  I know that my kids watch my interaction with everyone from the lady ringing through our groceries, to the librarian (who is fabulous), to the man at the drive-thru at McDonalds.  And they are watching how I treat every single one of them.  

I understand that these little things may be nothing compared to what you are going through today.  Trust me, I have faced challenges so much harder than this.  I believe that we are given choices every day that will shape our tomorrow, and I feel that trying our best to be nice in both the big and the small can never hurt.  We have all been put on this planet by a loving Father, for a purpose we may not yet understand, but we have all been put here to help spread the love.

So today, I challenge you to offer a smile.  It doesn't cost any money at all, and only the slightest bit of time.  Give them grace.  Because even though they may be holding it together on the outside, you never really know what's going on inside.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the grace that you show us, even in our darkest moments.  That you allow us to grow knowing that we are still loved, no matter what we mess up.  God, I ask that you open our hearts to those struggling around us, to just extend your love and grace to them, even when we don't want to.  Help us to remember all of the times that you have forgiven us when we are wronged by someone else.  And let us pass along your love to someone in need of it today.  In faith I pray.  Amen.

Spread the Love!

It feels as though the whole world is a little less friendly these days.  As all the groups are protesting all the other groups, and as all the politicians bash the other politicians, it's so easy to get wrapped up in spreading it around.  One little click of a button, and you can feel as though you've helped your cause.

But have you really?  Have you researched the article that you're sharing to verify it's sources?  Have you really thought about the message it's portraying? 

I don't think that there is anyone who truly doesn't know the state of our planet and the disrepair of the hearts in it.  All you have to do is turn on your TV, radio, phone, tablet or computer, and you are bombarded with the bad. 

By that little click, or that conversation over the water cooler, we choose what is important to us.  What can you do today to share the good?  Or better yet, what can you do today to add a little good to your world?

I'm not here to tell you how to use your social media accounts, I just wanted to put an idea out there.  What if instead of sharing an article protesting something, we shared an article showing how someone showed love in that same instance?  What if we made it a mission to spread the love with the awareness?

If you look hard enough, you can always find something great to share.  It could be as simple as sharing that a couple of weeks ago, there was nice man who waited while I unloaded my groceries so he could put my cart back for me.  

Or maybe there was a super long line at the grocery store, but the cashier still tried to make conversation with you.  You can almost guarantee that she's had at least one rude customer during her shift, but she's still trying.

Maybe you looked up at the sky and noticed a beautiful cloud, or a neat bird, or the sunset/sunrise was just breathtaking.

I have this little sign up on my wall that says, "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"  What would you have woke up to this morning if that were true?

Heavenly Father, I thank you for all of the blessings in my life.  I thank you even for the events that don't feel like blessings at the time, because I know you are working behind the scenes to help all things in my life be good.  I ask that you would be felt and heard over all of the noise in the world today.  That people would turn to you more than Google and Facebook.  That they would look around and try to make their little piece of the world a better place.  I pray that you would open the eyes of our hearts to see others as you see them.  And I thank you for loving us, even though we are broken.  In faith I pray.  Amen.

He Is Faithful

To all of the parents slogging through the trenches of raising littles, I salute you.  Or at least I would if I had the energy to lift my arms.

It's hard, isn't it, this always being on call?  It feels like we are always being pulled in 60 different directions at once, and we don't really know which way to head first.

At church this morning, we heard a message from an out of town speaker, who wanted to share his story.  He was raised in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, and as a teenager, decided sports were much more important than pursuing Jesus.  So he didn't.

Then one day, he chose to go to Thailand with Youth With a Mission.  He was going to use his basketball skills to reach out to the lost teenagers.  Except what he didn't realize was that they didn't actually like basketball.

Enter Plan B.  He met a man who spent the 70's as many spent the 70's, wearing tie dye clothes, long hair, and having an attitude of free spiritedness.  Right up until that man met Jesus.  He was never the same again.  And now he was mentoring this kid who hadn't really turned his back on the Lord, but had never really tried to get to know him either.

Plan B included going to Bible school in Asia, planting churches, learning to preach and heal, and becoming so passionate about all of these things that he stopped pursuing God again.  He was so busy pursuing others in the name of God, that he forgot to spend time just talking to God.

After a few years, he was so burnt out, he had to come back home to rest.  His body and soul were starving.

My life feels like that some days.  I get so busy trying to raise my kids up with manners and morals that I forget that I can't receive the rest He promises to all of us who are weary and burdened.

I have to stop.  I have to listen.  And I have to remember that He is faithful.  He will give me the strength to get through my days, if only I would stop trying to have all of the strength myself.

He will fill in all of the holes I will leave in my imperfection, if only I trust Him to do so.

He will help me to rest in His peace, if I could just slow down and seek him.

He is faithful.  It is us that need to be still.

So to all of my fellow parents, who feel like this part will never end, have faith that it will.  And it will be filled with children who don't need us so much anymore, and we can finally rest.  At least until they are teens.  Then just maybe, we will wish for the days that we are in the midst of right now.

But to get there, without feeling like a continual train is hitting us, we need to rely on His promises, not our own "strength".

Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for these beautiful children.  I am blessed that you have chosen to give them to me, even on the days where I feel so unprepared to have them.  I pray that you would give me wisdom and grace, each and every day.  I ask that you would fill in any gaps that I leave, as I am sure to leave them.  I pray that you would let me see them through your eyes in those hard stages, so that I would be able to show them your unshakeable love.  I pray that you would help me to rest in your when I feel weary and burdened, and that you would hold me up with your unfailing strength.  And most of all, I pray that I would know, deep down, that I am never alone.  In faith I pray.  Amen.

Trust Like A Toddler

We were at church last Sunday, worshipping and singing, when I noticed something.  Now, I have had small children with me every weekend that I have been at church for my adult life.  This is what happens when you become a Christian when you get married.  Lol.

I was trying to pay attention to the songs, all while watching my 3 little bundles of energy race around, when I noticed something.  My littlest, Munchkin, was moving back and forth between the adults.  She would walk over to someone, hold her arms up, and have complete confidence that they would reach down, pick her up, and hold her safe.  Now I know, this was not a stressful situation, she was not nervous at all, but it was an eye opening moment for me anyways.

You see, I have been struggling a lot lately, trying to manage (or maybe control) my little world.  Having to organize, set-up, and research for Sweetie and her Aspergers diagnosis is a part time job these days.  Trying to pay the right amount of attention to my Little Dude, who has struggles of his own, not including being a boy who is always surrounded by girls.  And my Munchkin, who is in the midst of potty training.

After a particularly exhausting adventurous weekend, wherein my Dude attempted to cook breakfast for us as a surprise, but mostly just managed to burn flour and eggs to a cookie sheet on top of my stove, then discovered that Pam spray on the floor made a great skating rink, my SUV had an electrical fire, and my Munchkin made her own skating rink in the bathroom with all of the liquids she could get her sweet little hands on, I was done.

I walked in to church, dropped my kids off with my in laws, and walked out crying.  I couldn't do it.  I was never going to be enough for all of these little people.  God must have made a mistake when he decided to give me these little bundles of joy, because I was in no way equipped to do this whole mothering thing.  I was failing miserably.  I mean, who ignores their children so much that they can get in to so much trouble in just a couple days?!?  Why weren't the Child Services people knocking on my door right now?

I was a mess.  My sister in law came downstairs and prayed for me, and told me that I was the perfect Mom for these kids, even if I didn't feel like it.  God doesn't make mistakes, including making my family. 

And then she proceeded to tell me how jealous she was of me as a mother.  I was always taking my kids to cool places, giving them memorable experiences.  I was homeschooling them so that I could pour everything I had in to their little lives.  I worked from home, and worked part time outside the home while managing to do all of this. From the outside looking in, she couldn't believe that I could do all of this, and keep it up as long as I had.  And that she had always wanted to be that kind of Mom, but just never managed to.  It struck me as kind of ironic that someone who I considered to be an amazing mother would be jealous of me, especially when I usually feel like such a mess.

I told her how I loved that she has great relationships with her kids, and that she knows all of their friends.  She's one of those cool Mom's that her kids like to be around.  Mine are just stuck with me.  Lol.

We prayed, I fixed my face, and then I went back upstairs.  My littles decided that they didn't want to do church any more that day, and I just didn't have any energy left to fight them to stay, so we went home.

And then the next weekend, I watched my little girl, go from family member, to friend and back again, completely confident that they had her.  And it dawned on me.  I wasn't enough.  But I was never supposed to be.  I was supposed to reach my arms up to my heavenly Father, and trust that he had me.  Because he does have me.  All day, every day, even when I feel like an abysmal failure.

In the midst of all my mothering angst, my 3 year old already had it figured out.  When I need Him most, I just have to seek Him and it will all work out.  My job is to lean on the Father who will always pick me up, not to carry the world on my shoulders and feel defeated when I can't hold it all up.

I have decided that the weekend where I felt so destroyed by my life, I will choose to view as a triumph.  I loved my kids, and hugged them.  Then I cleaned the floors, my husband fixed my truck, and we moved forward.  We didn't stay in the hard days, or dwell on them.  We triumphed over them, because we kept going, and chose to learn from those moments. 

I took pictures of the mess, before we cleaned, so that I can look back on these days and remember these little moments, that one day, will be treasured memories.

And then the next weekend, God chose to show me that he was there, in it all.

I don't know what you are facing today, but I do know that He has a plan.  And it's a good plan, even if it feels more like a valley than a beautiful mountain view right now.  And that there is someone who is looking at your life, thinking about how amazing you are, and how they wish that they had a quality you don't even remember you have.  I know that some days, it feels like no matter how much you give, it will never be enough.  So on those days, remember you are enough, and that you are here on purpose, for a purpose.  A purpose so much bigger than you can even fathom.  Think of my little girl, holding her arms up, knowing she will be held, and know that you can have that same thing, if only you trust and ask.

Heavenly Father, I pray that you would hold close those who are feeling defeated right now.  I pray that you would bring people in to their lives that will lift them up to you, and will let them know that they don't have to be perfect.  They only need to be who you created them to be, and to strive to be better than they were before, not perfect, just better.  Or at least trying to be better, even on those days when you feel less.  I pray your wisdom and discernment over parents, and I pray that you would help us to give grace to our children, just as you show us grace.  I pray that we would have the same trust as my toddler.  And I thank you for granting me the ability to breathe life into these littles.  In faith I pray.  Amen.

Community

These last few days have been emotionally challenging.  I live in BC, Canada, and this particular area is surrounded by wildfires.  Literally surrounded.  North there are several fires that hamper our escape.  East there are fires threatening the homes of those I care about.  And fires to the south that have destroyed the homes and businesses of many.  And to the west, there is a massive fire that has caused some friends to have to flee, leaving loved ones behind to try and save their homes and livelihoods.  

I have watched friends pack up to leave.  I have watched neighbours flee their houses.  And I have sat and explained to my kids to the best of my ability what is going on around us.  We have prayed.  We have asked others to pray.

We have tried to stay strong in the face of constant uncertainty.

But do you know what I think about most in the midst of all of this broken?  The beauty.  How crazy is that?  We are surrounded with plumes and gusts of smoke billowing through our town, and yet there is untold beauty everywhere you look.

All because we have community.   We have friends and neighbours looking out for each other.  Either keeping each other up to date, or watching for the safety of their belongings after they have been evacuated.  We have people doing neighbourhood watch in neighbourhoods that aren't even their own so that people can take care of their families in peace, knowing that everything is being done to protect their homes.

We have communities coming together to pool their resources to get through to the next day.  There is no "mine", but an "ours" as we help others out as much as we can.

We have taken food to those who are doing their best to protect us, only to have them pay it on to those they are protecting.  We have been humbled when we realize that there are so many people doing so many dangerous things, and yet they still say thank you for something so small as a snack.

We have people volunteering their time at local businesses so that people can get the things they so desperately need.

The communities that people are running to have been outstanding in their willingness to help.  People are freely opening their homes to others, trying to make this whole ordeal the best that it can be.  Donations are pouring out of everywhere.

We have a neighbouring province stepping up in a major way to supply us with equipment, food and basic necessities until the roads re-open, getting them through roadblocks to get to us.  We donated last year during their time of need, never once thinking that it would be returned on this scale.  We did it simply because that is what you do.  You help.  And they have certainly returned the love.  They understand in a way that few other people can what it is that we're are facing right now, and they are happy to help and take time from their own lives to make ours a little bit better.  

We have people all over our own country, as well as in other countries praying for us.  I have a prayer circle of women that have prayed without ceasing, and I've never even met them face to face.  

As I was packing my most precious belongings in case we need to leave, I was focussing on the fact that all of the things I was packing were just that.  Things.  As much as I had my family with me, I had everything I needed.  My stuff can always be replaced if it needs to.  But God has opened my eyes to something else in the meantime.  His love.  I don't know that all natural disasters bring out the best in people.  It doesn't necessarily bring out the best in all people, but I believe it does in most of us.  And it makes you stop and focus on the big picture.  Showing love and grace to those around, just like it has been shown to you.  Doing the little things means so much more than you could ever know.

I don't know what upheaval you are facing right now.  It may be a health issue, or a family disagreement.  Or something else entirely.  But I do know that we have a God who loves us and desires the best for us.  He has never promised that it would be an easy ride, but instead promised that he would be there with us.  As I witness this right now, each day, I ask that you let him reach out to you too.  

I can choose tomorrow when I wake up to search for the ashes.  It would be so easy to look at all of the destruction and miss the beauty in the broken.  I saw a beautiful video the other day by a woman who has struggled, where the woman said to focus on what you can do, instead of what you can't.  There is always something you can do, no matter how small.  And will help you to make a big change.  And I am here to tell you, it works.

Heavenly Father, I thank you today for your mercies.  Even as we walk through the flames, you are here.  You have not abandoned us or forsaken us, but have carried us when we were too weak.  You have been our strength and you have shown your love in the most unbelievable ways.  I lift up those who are struggling to see the light.  I pray that you would give them peace beyond measure and that you would be their strength.  Show them that their worth is in you, not in the world, and that they are loved and worthy of so much more.  Show them the blessings in the broken, just as you have done with me.  In faith I pray.  Amen.

Mine

I've been reading "Listen Love Repeat" by Karen Ehman, and it is a truly inspiring book.  It makes you want to both open your heart to other people, and see the people who have opened their heart to you in a new light.  I have such gratitude for those that have loved me when I was prickly rather than plush.  Karen doesn't give empty ideas of how to help others, instead she shares experiences of how she has reached out, and the difference it has made in the lives of others.  She invests in them, making sure to remember those little things that will make each person feel special.  She is known as "Mama Karen" to many of her kids' friends.   Many who treat her home as their own. I have my own special Mama. Mama Cyr.  She is an amazing woman.  She is so quiet, but so strong.  Her life story is a true testament to living a Christ centered life.  And the most amazing part of the story, to me anyways, is that she loved me before she even really knew me.  I used to work at a local bar during the night, and with her at a grocery store during the day.  I wasn't really living a Christ filled life.  Kind of the opposite.  And rather than judge me, or scold me, do you know what she did?  She prayed for me.   She didn't even know me.  And over 10 years later, when I walked in to her church, do you know what she did?  She welcomed me.  She gave me a great big hug.  And she continued to love me. I don't know where I would be without her prayers.  I certainly didn't have many people praying I would find Jesus at that particular time in my life.  I didn't even know she was praying for me.  Such a little thing that had such a huge impact. A beautiful spirit who saw someone struggling to belong, to find who she truly was.  Someone who knelt down to lift me up.  Who can you open your heart to today? Heavenly Father, I thank you for all the blessings that you have given me.  Even the ones that I don't know about.  I thank you for the challenges that have brought me to today.  I pray for all the people who are struggling right now.  I pray your peace, wisdom and protection over them.  I pray that they would feel your living arms envelop them.  Lord, that you would put someone so directly in their path that they could not help but know that it is You, and that you love them.  Right where they are.  No matter what they have done.  They are worthy of love.  They are valuable.  And I pray that you would give us a heart to see those hurting around us, and to help us to know what to do to ease the burden.  In Your powerful name I pray.  Amen.

Little Hands

I was washing my baby's hands after lunch today, and it struck me how very tiny they looked in mine.  She turned 2 at the end of 2016, but she is still so petite.  Her older siblings are huge on the growth charts (their Dad is 6'6", so it makes sense), while she is in the bottom third.  I always joke that I might just get one "my size!" 

You know those "calculations" that you can do to predict how big your kids are going to be when they finish growing?  My older two are both supposed to be around 6' tall.  My littlest probably won't be even close to that.  And that's okay.  They were made that way for a purpose.  And they are beautiful just as they are.

So much has happened in the last 2 months that it's amazing.  We had a mouse infestation in our house, which turned out to be both disgusting and productive.  I have never decluttered in such a ruthless fashion in my entire life!  I have gotten rid of over 20 garbage bags worth of donations in just over a month.

My husband had kidney stones and had to go back to the ER 3 times in one week.  Few things will make you appreciate the health of your family more than having a medical emergency.  And it brings to light the amazing community that we have to help with child care, meals, and just plain old fashioned contact as people showed us that they care.

We had a rental property be part of a drug/armed weapons raid.  And we found out on Facebook.  The only silver lining I've found from that one is that we now know the Rental Code better than ever before...

We had our baby girl partially dislocate her elbow on Christmas Eve.  She is double jointed and so we may have more of this in our future.  But if that is her only health complication, we are still so blessed!  As we spent Christmas morning in the ER (they know us well there), we had the chance to talk to the other people that were there for various reasons.  We had grandparent types reliving stories of their children when they were that age, letting me know that accidents will happen, kids will be kids, and that it will one day be something I miss.  We had people the same age as my parents talking about how their grandkids are meeting milestones and just how precious this time is.  So many "firsts" to be had.  There were staff members missing family events just to help us, and doing it with a smile on their face, knowing we didn't really want to be there either.

We had a friend lose his wife after a life long battle with heart problems.  We watched his community come together for him in a way that is beyond description.  I can't imagine the mixed feelings he has every single day about missing her in his life, and being so grateful that she's whole now, rejoicing with those she is joining now in heaven.

I had a friend suffer a shocking loss with such grace, it's difficult to fathom.  Her family walked through the loss quite publicly because they know God does everything for a reason, and maybe something great could happen out of their pain.  I still don't understand how they did that.  They allowed the world in to celebrate the life of someone who was truly a gift, and only wanted to do more for others.  I watched my kids pray in earnest for these people that they had never met, because they too know loss, but they also know the comfort of knowing you will one day see them again.  They helped me make gifts for them because that's what you do.  You reach out in love.

And what does this all have to do with those little hands?  Well, these last 2 months have flown by.  The last 2 years have flown by since I welcomed my final baby into this world.  And 5 years before that, her brother.  And 2 years before that, her sister.  And 2 years before that, the day I walked down the aisle to the man God blessed me with.

You see, those hands?  They'll never be quite that small again.  None of theirs will.  We can never predict what tomorrow brings.  I certainly never would have guessed what these last 2 months would have brought.  Definitely not what I had planned to happen!

So today, tell those around you that you love them.  Hug those close to you.  Say thank you to that cashier, or teacher, or cab driver.  Hold the door open just because you can.  We have such a short time on this earth to impact it for the better.  Start today!

Listen Love Repeat

Today is LAUNCH DAY!!! I'm so excited for others to get to read this book now!!!  It is such a beautifully written book, filled with such simple ideas that you can't help but do them.  Everything from giving a bottle of water to your mail delivery person, to loving the prickly people in your life. 

I have gotten so many beautiful quotes to remind myself to "scatter kindness" that I can't help but become more others focused. 

I don't know if you noticed all the fabulous videos on Facebook under the tag #5dollardash, but you should totally check them out.  Karen's fabulous assistant came up with the idea of the ladies from the launch team pulling together to surprise Karen with a $5 dash where the ladies would find someone in their life that needed a little pick-me-up, and they would drop off $5 and an encouraging note for them, and then challenge 3 people in their life to do the same.  And OH.MY.GOODNESS!!!  It was so fun.  You should totally search them on Facebook and have a good laugh.  And then go out and scatter that kindness.  It doesn't matter if you've been formally challenged or not.  What matters is that in this world filled with heartache and hurt we go out and be a light to others. 

And if you're looking for a good book to inspire you to love on others, I can't recommend Listen Love Repeat enough. 

Here's a sneak peak at one of the wonderful ladies who did the #5dollardash!

http://mrsdisciple.com/scatter-kindness-5dollardash/

Prayer Prompts

I have been reading Karen Ehman's blog and following her on Facebook for a while now.  And she does something that is just so simple, but so powerful. 

She talks about it in her newest book "Listen, Love, Repeat."  I love how she does it!  She has this daily routine of praying for those around her.  While she is wiping down her kitchen counters, she prays for her family to be able to wipe their slate clean.  She prays for certain people while she brushes her teeth.  These are all times when our minds could be busy with other details.  We as Mom's always have something on our minds.  And you certainly wouldn't have to do the same things, or pray the same prayers.  But wouldn't it be wonderful to have those prayers for those special people in your life become daily?

She still stresses the importance of regular prayer time each day, but reminds us how important it is to be speaking to Him throughout our day.  To come to Him first.  After all, if we made Him the most important, He will make the rest fall into place.  His faithfulness never changes, no matter whether our actions are constant or wavering.

I have struggled with regular prayer time in my life.  I have three small children, a husband who works wonky hours, and I regularly suffer from health problems that can make it difficult for me to get a good night sleep, much less wake up at the crack of dawn.  At this particular point in my life, committing to prayer every day at 5 is just setting myself up for failure.  But you know what I can do?  I can pray while I wash the dishes that God would help me to discover the sins of myself and my family, and for him to help us, and wash ourselves of that sin.  I can pray when I fold laundry that we would be strong.  That we would cling to him rather than the trappings of this world, trying to fold ourselves into the conventional.  I can thank Him each night for all the blessings in my life before I go to sleep, choosing each night to focus on all He has done instead of all that I have not. 

None of these steps are going to be huge leaps.  But they will impact my family.  And every journey starts with a single step, right?  So today, let's do what we can to take a step.  Just one.  And God will surely help us to walk this journey. 

Heavenly Father, I am so blessed in this life.  You have surrounded me with people that draw me closer to you.  Thank you for all of them, even the ones that have "sharpened" me.  Thank you for the process of refinement, and that you do not give up on me.  Lord, I ask that you would work within my heart to make my life in your a priority.  And that you would open my eyes to the opportunities around me to see you.  Those little prompts that are you whispering to our hearts.  Help me to hear those whispers and lift others to you.  In your name.  Amen.

If you are struggling with something, please leave a comment.  I would be honored to lift you up tonight.  I don't need the details if you don't want to share.  He knows them already.  I just need a name as I have faith He will do the rest. 

Prickly or Plush

As I was reading (finally!) the chapter for this week from Karen Ehman's newest book "Listen, Love, Repeat", I was reminded of a sweet elderly lady we met a few years ago.

Karen tells us of this curmudgeonly old neighbor of hers that was, well, pretty mean.  He chased animals.  He yelled at kids.  But she made the conscious effort to find out more.  To try and get to know him.  And after a few months, he waved back.  No smile.  No words.  Just a wave.  And she was victorious.  Later on, she found out that he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. 

Well, this man reminds me a little of my Ida.  We used to go visit my GGPa every Wednesday morning at the seniors' home in town.  And my kids would play downstairs in their coffee area, where everyone say waiting for lunch.  I don't know how many of you have ever been in a care home for the elderly, but they always have a gathering place, often in a little coffee room.  Some people go down there with their companions, so chat and pass the time.  Some just sit at a table by themselves looking lonely and forlorn.  Ida used to sit just outside, on a loveseat.  Often, she'd be asleep, or just watching everyone else.  GGpa used to wait in the doorway for us.  Others sat on their walkers, or by the fireplace.

It was such a precious time for me as I look back on it.  It gave my precious littles the ability to see people, not disabilities.  They never really seemed to notice the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.  Or grumpiness. 

Both of my kids (I only had 2 littles at the time), LOVED to share with Ida.  Whether they had brought something for their own version of show and tell, or they just wanted to chat, they always chose Ida as their companion.  And Ida HATED it.  She would push them off.  She would tell them she wasn't interested.  She ignored them.  But they kept coming back, week after week.  They would climb up on that loveseat beside her and love.  I always thought that maybe she sat on a loveseat rather than a chair because somewhere deep inside, she wanted someone to sit beside her.

Little by little I began to find out more about her.  She did not have an easy childhood, with war and famine everywhere.  She was originally from Poland and had immigrated here for a better life.  If I remember correctly, she used to be a camp cook.  She was a survivor of many difficulties.  Things we probably won't ever have to go through.  After her husband passed, her children had placed her into a home.  We understand that after she arrived, she had very few visitors.  Personally, after visiting weekly for almost 5 years, I had never heard anyone mention she had visitors.  Not once.

I think I might be a little angry at the world if that happened to me too!

Her children may have given up on her, but my kids sure wouldn't.  And after about 1 year, she began to let them sit there.  This time, without a scowl on her face.  And about a month after that, she would watch the kids and listen to their stories.

One day, when we walked in, she waved.  And smiled.  Ohmygoodness.  I almost cried. 

I remember the day she waved clearly.  I came home that day so proud that we had worn her down.  She was starting to like my kids.  I mean, who wouldn't?  My kids are adorable.  ;)  I came home and told my husband at lunch what had happened.  I was glowing all that day.  Because I had someone smile at me.  If someone doesn't have a smile, give them yours, right?

After that, if GGPa hadn't made it downstairs yet, or if he'd gone back up to his room, she let us know. 

She started to hold the kids hands when they sat and talked to her.   

Karen reminds of us this old saying, "Preach the gospel always.  When necessary, use words."  I hadn't actually heard that particular saying before, but it certainly us beautiful, isn't it?  My kids didn't have "gospel" words.  They were 3 and 1 when we first started going.  They certainly had a lot of words, or noises.  But their actions spoke volumes.  Their love shined through.

And if we had never invested that time?  If we hadn't shown interest and respect?  I can't say that we changed her life, but she sure changed ours.  

We are all a work in progress, learning more about ourselves, and those around us each day.  Could we make it a mission to soften our edges, and maybe invest in others too?  Could we shine the light within us as a beacon to those that are lost, lonely and hurting?

Heavenly Father, we thank you for all we have.  That we have what we do now because of those that came before us.  That went through harrowing times and just kept going.  Thank you for the gift of knowledge and experience in those around us Lord.  I pray that you would open our hearts to them.  That we would be open to seeing past the exterior and discovering the wealth they have to offer Lord.  I ask that on those days where my exterior is prickly, that you would fill me to overflowing with your love, to lighten all those dark places. We pray for the world, that we would make it part of our daily lives to see the people we interact with every day for who they are inside, not their reactions that day.  Help us to be examples of Your unconditional love Lord, to those who need it the most.  In Your name we pray.  Amen.

If you have someone if your life that you are trying to "crack open", I would love to lift them up in prayer.  Leave a comment and I will make sure to include them tonight.

Confessions!

Okay, so I am a little behind on the launch team posting for Karen Ehman's Listen, Love, Repeat.  Sorry!  We went on vacation and then came home to a broken furnace (I live in central BC, Canada, and its October people!), and I homeschool, so life has been about the basics these last 2 weeks.

I posted about Chapter 6 earlier, and then finally put my baby to bed and sat down to read Chapter 7: The Lonely and Unloved.  Ohmygoodness.  The tears!

She gives us this lovely example of how she has chosen to open her home to all of those around her, and the difference it has made in the lives of others.  She is known as "Mama Karen" to many of her kids' friends.  She tells us of one who even thinks of her house as his. 

I have my own special Mama. Mama Cyr.  She is an amazing woman.  She is so quiet, but so strong.  Her life story is a true testament to living a Christ centered life.  And the most amazing part of the story, to me anyways, is that she loved me before she even really knew me.  You see, I worked with her, well, let's say in my youth.  Goodness, it's been a long time since I was a youth.  I used to work at a local bar during the night, and with her at a grocery store during the day.  I wasn't really living a Christ filled life.  Kind of the opposite.  And rather than judge me, or scold me, do you know what she did?  She prayed for me.  She prayed that I would find a Godly husband.  That I would find Jesus.  That I would find me. 

She didn't even know me.

And over 10 years later, when I walked in to her church, do you know what she did?  She welcomed me.  She gave me a great big hug.  She continued to love me.

It makes me cry just to think about it.  I don't know where I would be without her prayers.  I certainly didn't have many people praying I would find Jesus at that particular time in my life.  I didn't even know she was praying for me.  Such a little thing that had such a huge impact.

Such a beautiful spirit who saw someone struggling to belong, to find who she truly was.  Someone who knelt down to lift me up.

To those of us lucky enough to have someone that beautiful in our lives, you know the gift that they truly are.  To those who have had that experience, can you think of someone you could reach out to today? 

To those who are waiting, I believe that God is faithful.  He is good.  He has plans for you that are truly beyond your imagination.  I am living, breathing proof of that.  Could I pray for you now?

Heavenly Father, I thank you for all the blessings that you have given me.  Even the ones that I don't know about.  I thank you for the challenges that have brought me to today.  I pray for all the people who are struggling right now.  I pray your peace, wisdom and protection over them.  I pray that they would feel your living arms envelop them, Lord.  That they would know your presence.  Lord, that you would put someone so directly in their path that they could not help but know that it is You, and that you love them.  Right where they are.  No matter what they have done.  They are worthy of love.  They are valuable.  And I pray that you would give us a heart to see those hurting around us Lord, and to help us to know what to do to ease the burden.  In Your powerful name I pray.  Amen.