Shout It Out

This week has been an emotional week. 

My friend lost her grandfather suddenly.  A man she looked up to.  A man she loved dearly.

A friend lost her husband unexpectedly.  A man that she was married to for almost 39 years.  They had 3 children, 2 grandchildren, and tons of other family.  He was a friend to all.  He loved those he knew with passion and loyalty.  He welcomed everyone into his home for help, whether you were family or not.  And he will be desperately missed by all.

Another friend's son fell into a river and we have no answers yet.  They simply have him listed as "missing".  He was only 24 years old.  Just at the beginning of a promising career doing something that he loved.  And now she lays awake every night wondering if he's already gone.  If he laying somewhere broken and afraid.  I can't even begin to comprehend the terror she is experiencing right now.

Listening to the eulogy at my friend's husband's funeral, I heard so many happy stories.  Memories that he had made with everyone.  Explanations for all those mysterious happenings in his childhood (like the floor patched because of a gun accident no one knew of, or the gravel truck being taken to the drive in because they charged by the "truck load").  He was a man loved by many. 

All of these men were.

But have you told all of those you love that you love them lately?  Have you held them tight?  Have you taken the time to make memories?  And most importantly, have you said all of those things that you want to?  You don't want to wait for their eulogy.  Tell them now.  Phone them.  Facebook them.  Meet them for coffee.  And let them know now how much they mean to you. 

There is no embarrassment in showing love or respect to those around you.  And you may not even know the most important memory they have of you.  They may remember something else.  It may be a huge turning point in your life that they didn't even know they played a role in.  And it may just need to be what they need to hear right now.

These last few years have been filled with a lot of people that I've had to say goodbye to.  And for the most part, the one regret that I haven't had to live with it "I wish I'd just said..." 

Shout it out if you have to.  But say it.

If you have suffered a loss recently, or are trying to mend relationships, please leave a comment below.  I would love to lift you up in prayer.

All That Matters

I lost my mother-in-law to cancer last week. It was an awful, emotional, exhausting and eye opening experience. And it brought to my attention so many things.

I realized how many people one life can affect. How many lives can be changed just by one persons kindness. How one prayer warrior can make such a difference. How having a heart like Jesus can leave such a lasting impression. And all of these qualities belong to one woman who will leave a hole in our lives for years to come.

In four short, but oh so long, days, I witnessed countless people stop their lives to say goodbye to this woman. I think I saw more people traipse in and out of her hospice room than I even know. And that is such a testament to who she was.   And it makes you wonder what your legacy will be.

It also leaves us something to live up to.

 I saw my husbands family, and all our friends pull together. We had childcare provided for us so that we could devote our time to just BEING there. We had meals prepared by friends who just wanted to love on us. We contacted family that for their own personal reasons, had previously been cut off. And they dropped everything and rushed out.

We shared stories that some of us had never heard before. We learned that it really is possible to laugh until you pee. And imagined that there really is no better reason to wet yourself than whatever fun she was having to actually do that!

We made new memories. We had moments, good and bad, that will forever be etched on our hearts. We bridged gaps in our relationships. We held each other up when the strength just wasn't there.

We prayed together. Oh, did we pray together. We prayed for strength. We prayed for peace. We prayed for her suffering to end, and for Jesus to come and take her home. We prayed for each other. We prayed for our children. We prayed that those we love who don't know Jesus would feel His presence.

We realized that if whatever grudge you are holding can be forgiven at the last moment, then why not forgive earlier?  We realized that praying for people really does make a difference.  We realized that no matter how small a role you may have played in someone's life, the impact can last a lifetime.

And we learned that in the end, love is all that matters.