We Were Not Made to Walk This Road Alone!

Chapter 2 in Hoodwinked: 10 Myths of Motherhood has the very first myth that they debunk.  The myth that mothering is natural, easy and instinctive.  And some days it is.  Those other days, well...  The quote that starts this chapter says "Mother is a verb, not a noun."


We are always in action.  I was laying in bed the other morning, thinking that I finally know why I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.  As long as I lay in my little haven, I can pretend that I don't have a to-do list that uses an entire forest of paper.  That the laundry isn't piling up, because I can't see it.  I don't have to think about food, because the kitchen is at the other end of the house.  But the minute my feet hit the floor...  Then it starts.  My day begins.  And it doesn't stop until I get back into that little haven.  And I have many beautiful moments mixed in with the to-do's. 

But juggling as those balls isn't instinctive.  Knowing the right words to soothe your little one's ouchies while not burning dinner is a skill I did not learn in home ec class. 

In this chapter, Ruth talks about how she had her dream of motherhood all planned out.  Except reality seemed to be the exact opposite.  And how "we don't come out of the womb hardwired with wisdom and experience.  We come into the world as foreigners who have to figure things out as we grow up."

Life isn't always natural, easy or instinctive.  Motherhood is part of life.  Yep, lightbulb moment right there.  Why should I have to feel each and every day that I am failing at something that is supposed to come so easily?  It shouldn't come so easy.  Anything that is worth it requires time, practice, sacrifice and effort.  My kids are worth the world to me.  Common sense would then dictate that it would require a lot of time, practice, sacrifice and effort.  And lots of prayer!

Ladies, if you have fallen prey to the myth that to be a good mom, you should be perfect at it right out of the gate, please stop.  We are not perfect.  You already know that there are no perfect people.  So why do we beat ourselves up trying to attain a goal that is never going to be realistic?

If you'd like to read more of my posts on this book, you can search in my search bar, or do what I did, and just buy your own copy!  :)

Heavenly Father, I lift up all of those parents who are exhausted.  Who are bone weary of trying to do it all.  Let them come to you, and be restored.  Refresh their perspective on your expectations and fill their hearts to overflowing with your love Lord.  In your mighty name.  Amen.

If any of you have a prayer request or would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment, I would love to be one of God's soldiers for you!

Shout It Out

This week has been an emotional week. 

My friend lost her grandfather suddenly.  A man she looked up to.  A man she loved dearly.

A friend lost her husband unexpectedly.  A man that she was married to for almost 39 years.  They had 3 children, 2 grandchildren, and tons of other family.  He was a friend to all.  He loved those he knew with passion and loyalty.  He welcomed everyone into his home for help, whether you were family or not.  And he will be desperately missed by all.

Another friend's son fell into a river and we have no answers yet.  They simply have him listed as "missing".  He was only 24 years old.  Just at the beginning of a promising career doing something that he loved.  And now she lays awake every night wondering if he's already gone.  If he laying somewhere broken and afraid.  I can't even begin to comprehend the terror she is experiencing right now.

Listening to the eulogy at my friend's husband's funeral, I heard so many happy stories.  Memories that he had made with everyone.  Explanations for all those mysterious happenings in his childhood (like the floor patched because of a gun accident no one knew of, or the gravel truck being taken to the drive in because they charged by the "truck load").  He was a man loved by many. 

All of these men were.

But have you told all of those you love that you love them lately?  Have you held them tight?  Have you taken the time to make memories?  And most importantly, have you said all of those things that you want to?  You don't want to wait for their eulogy.  Tell them now.  Phone them.  Facebook them.  Meet them for coffee.  And let them know now how much they mean to you. 

There is no embarrassment in showing love or respect to those around you.  And you may not even know the most important memory they have of you.  They may remember something else.  It may be a huge turning point in your life that they didn't even know they played a role in.  And it may just need to be what they need to hear right now.

These last few years have been filled with a lot of people that I've had to say goodbye to.  And for the most part, the one regret that I haven't had to live with it "I wish I'd just said..." 

Shout it out if you have to.  But say it.

If you have suffered a loss recently, or are trying to mend relationships, please leave a comment below.  I would love to lift you up in prayer.

Just What I Needed

If you've been reading my posts over the last few years, you know that life has felt kind of overwhelming at times.  It has even felt at times like there was no way to get out from under this huge cloud over me.

Here's a quick recap for those who dont know:  I had a miscarriage, then had a really hard time physically while my body tried to go back to "normal", then I got pregnant again fairly quickly (can you say hello hormones?!?), and was quite sick.  Then my Aunt passed away after a short 6 week battle with cancer.  It was a difficult time for me, and the kids as I tried to figure out how to explain death, heaven and how God can take people away from us, but still love us.  Then their GGPa was in the hospital most of the summer.  Then their Supergran passed away.  Then GGPa passed away.  And then we had a baby girl (an amazing gift), but their lives were turned upside down all over again.  And then they lost their Great Grandpa. And then they lost their Grandma to breast cancer after a short hospital/hospice stay.  And then 6 weeks later, their Grandpa remarried and they had a new Grandma.

Wow, it tires me out just typing that, much less thinking what the last little while has been like for us. It has been emotionally, physically and spiritually draining.

I'm not saying great things weren't happening.  It just felt like as soon as we'd get a little good, we'd be buried in difficult.  We managed to show love to a lot of people, we got to hear amazing stories about lives that have been changing our little world for over 90 years.  We got more family time.  We lost some family, but we gained some too!  And while it was difficult, it has to be part of his plan.  All of it.

This week we had some challenging days.  You know those days when you feel like you should just crawl back under the covers and try again tomorrow?  And so while I was bathing my beautiful little baby, I was on my knees praying too.  I was praying that His strength would get us through.  I was praying that I have such a hard time letting go of control and that I need His help to just let go.  I needed to now that He has this.  He has me in the palm of his hand, and it will all be okay.  It will be better than okay.

And you know what?  The very next day, the things that were broken got fixed.  Easier than we thought they could.  At no monetary cost to us even!  And I got to spend some extra time filling up my children's memory banks.


And then I checked the mail and got a advanced reading copy of a book from one of my favourite authors.  A funny, down to earth, relatable woman who just loves God, and her family.  And now I have the privilege of spending some extra time with God, while I preview this book.  A book all about how I don't have to do it all.  I will be blogging my way through the book, so follow along and see what I learned.

Just what I needed!!