It's The Little Things

As I sit hear, listening to the birds chirping outside, I am realizing how fast time really does go by.  We aren't meant to be a part of this world forever, but we are here for our own, uniquely beautiful mission. 

I can't honestly say that I've figured out exactly what my mission is.  I am a Momma to 3 beautiful, healthy kids, so it's pretty safe to say that at least part of my journey is to nourish their souls and help them to love God. 

I homeschool them, so it's pretty intense some days.  I can't help but think that part of His plan is to use my kids to refine me.  And some days, I really do hate that part.  It is so humbling to have to look into those little eyes and say that you aren't perfect.  But it is such a great lesson to them, that no matter what, there is someone there who is going to love them unconditionally, but who is indeed still a work in progress.

I remember when I was young wanting to do something so big.  I wanted to cure cancer, or save the oceans.  Then I decided I wanted to go into medicine and just help people.  None of these dreams came true. 

And that's great.  Weird how that happens, isn't it? 

Don't get me wrong, all of those dreams are great things.  We need a definitive cure for all cancers.  Our oceans do need help.  There are never enough nurses or doctors.  And since none of those dreams came true, it made room for my dream of having a family.

It made room for me to get to know God.  To learn that His plan is so much better than mine, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.  I've had a bumpy path to where I am now.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

In this last decade, I have met and married the man I love.  I have changed careers.  I have helped to build my husband's business.  We have had 4 pregnancies, and got to hold 3 of our children.  I have gained family, and lost some of them too.    I have watched my babies laugh their first laugh and take their first steps. I have gotten to teach my children and watch their eyes light up as they begin to understand concepts. 

I have also lost someone I loved dearly to depression.  I have buried several family members.  I have fought hard for my marriage.  I have mourned the loss of a baby before I even got to meet them.  I've battled to forgive those that have wronged me, and to begin to pray for them. 

And it has all flown by.  I am excited to see what the future is bringing to us.  And thankful for everything the last 10 years taught us.  It hasn't been easy, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

You don't necessarily realize it when it's happening, but all the little beautiful moments become the most amazing memories.  It isn't the grand gestures that make the difference, it's the little things.

Whatever is happening in your life right now, I encourage you to turn to Him.  He really is a rock that you can cling to in times of trouble, and He deserves our praise when things go right.  I want to remember to come to him not only when things go wrong, but also when they go right.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for walking beside us, no matter where we are.  I am so grateful for the blessings you have bestowed on me, and that you have never required me to deserve them.  That you would sacrifice your one and only child for us.  Please help me to seek you in my everyday.  Let all that I do be done in love and grace.  In your name.  Amen.

The Last Great Generation

I've had a lot of time to think these last few months.  And I've pondered about GGPa.  I was so blessed to have this man be a part of my life for 8 years.  He was in his late 80's when I became part of his family, but it wasn't until his last 3 years that I really put forth that much effort.

You see, I was busy.  I had two kids.  There was always something more important calling for my attention.  All of these things are true.  And they are also so very sad. 

I was given this amazing gift.  Bill.  The man who became a grandfather to me, even though he didn't have to.  He became a great grandfather to my children.  He loved us.  He took my kids for rides on his electric wheelchair.

He stole food from the breakfast cart for us.  Because you see, even though he was 92 before I really got to know him, he didn't care.  I was his family.  And that meant that you provide.  He paid a lot to be in that retirement home.  And if he wanted to take an extra nutri-grain bar here and there, no one was going to ask.  And even from an electric wheelchair, he was doing all he could to make sure that we had everything he was able to give us.  His step-granddaughter.  And his step-grandchildren. 

His generation grew up knowing what it was to not have everything.  And I don't mean the way we think we have it now.  I'm not talking about the lastest THING.  I'm talking about food.  Food that you have to either grow or kill yourself.  That you had to take care of to feed yourself over the winter.  The clothes that you had needed to be taken care of.  There was no Walmart to run out to if you ruined your good clothes. 

Manners were something that everyone used.  People opened doors for one another.  They looked strangers in the eye and smiled.  They made room at the dinner table for a friend in need.  They could stretch their pennies in ways I can't even fathom.

I heard some of the stories of his childhood.  He had it pretty rough.  And yet he still told me many stories with a smile on his face.  They didn't need so much back then.  So much stuff.

He told me about all the jobs that he had.  He did almost everything that you can imagine.  Including fight for my freedom.  And he took it all in stride.  It wasn't something that he boasted about.  It was just what he did.  When he enlisted, they knew he was an excellent marksman, and they wanted him to be a sniper.  He refused.  He became part of the motorcycle brigade instead.  And he escorted royalty.  But that story has no more importance to him than the fishing he used to do.  He grew up when you took pride in a good day's work.  And you didn't complain about a full day of work if you ended the day with a full belly.

He had a wife that he loved with every ounce of his being.  For the first year I went to see him, he told me every single time that she was gone.  And that he was all alone now.  After the second year, I hope he didn't feel so alone, because then when I walked through that door, he just smiled.  He never said he was all alone anymore.  They always said that the most important thing in their marriage was to laugh.  They swear that in over 60 years of marriage they never fought.  They were on the same side.  And rather than say that it would just be easier to start over if something went wrong, they just united against the problem.  No talk to divorce.  No comparing that they weren't as good as that person's spouse.  It was them against the world.  All the way to her last breath.  I can only pray to have that in my marriage!

I can't imagine all that he saw in his lifetime.  I can't imagine 96+ years on this earth.  But I do know that I had the privilege of getting to know a man who is part of the last great generation.  They fought for freedom.  For everyone.  Every.  Last.  One.  Of.  Us.  Not for a certain colour.  Not for a certain belief.  They fought so that we could have freedom.  So that others could be safe.  Because 80 years ago, you stood up and did what was right. 

Thank you GGPa.  And to the last great generation.  I hope and pray that my generation can put forth even a fraction of the effort to be like them.  And provide for others whatever we can.  Let's make it less about how much stuff we can accumulate, but about how many lives we can change.  Let's fix things that are broken rather than just replacing it.  Let honor them be being the next generation to affect a positive change for the world.  And let's start with our little corner of the world.  I tell my kids every day that we were given more than we need so that we can share it with others.  Not because we get to brag about it later.  But because the generations before us made the world a better place by doing just that.

If you have a prayer request, or would just like to talk, leave a comment below.  I would be honored to lift you up in prayer.  And have a blessed day.

Don't count your days, make your days count!

Appreciate Your Tribe

I am blessed to be surrounded by a diverse group of people who all love and support me. And it has really been at the forefront of my thoughts lately what a great gift this is.

I have mentioned before my immediate and extended family.  And some friends that have stuck by me through thick and thin.

Lately I've been thinking about my Mom's group.  I have taken over leadership of the group after a friend and her family relocated. I feel so uncomfortable calling myself a leader. If you knew me, you would understand that for me, any group larger than 2 (me and one other person) is a challenge.  I don't do well in groups.  I actually spend most of my time in my house avoiding groups of people.  And yet I was called to do just that. I think God laughs at my plans once again.

The funny thing?  It's forcing me to grow in ways I never thought I would.  I now pray for people in front of a group of people. Talk about uncomfortable. My prayer life has always been a very private thing for me.  God and me.  That makes 2. Pretty much my limit.

I lead discussions. Me. The one who almost never spoke during the weekly discussions before, even though I've been a part of this group for almost 4 years now.  And now I'm usually the first to go. Mainly because everyone else waits for me to start...but I do it!

And these women are so different. Growing up in different provinces and countries.  Different decades. Different everything. And yet they show up week after week, to do life with me. They offer me advice and perspectives before that I've never considered. They are my tribe, and for better or worse, they are there for each other. Through child rearing debacles, sickness, marital discord, family issues.  And we don't always see eye to eye.  Really, when you get a group of women together, how often do they all truly agree?  But I hope I can continue the pattern of respect, openness and support that was started by my predecessor.  And that God would help me to add even a portion to these women's lives as they have given me.

I don't know if you have a tribe. Maybe you have the perfect mix of support in your life.  Maybe you're struggling to connect on a deeper level.  I pray that He would bring in women who will have your back.  Who will challenge you to grow, even when you don't want to.  And who will show you grace and acceptance no matter what.