Helping Hearts

I have been thinking a lot lately about getting back to something that has brought me such joy in the past.  For most of my adult life, I have loved surprising those around me with something special.  It isn't necessarily something amazing, just something that lets them know that someone is thinking of them.  That someone has noticed them and loves them.

I have done this in fits and spurts since having children, as it isn't something that often sits at the forefront of my mind.  But my friend, it is such an amazing thing to bless those around you.  And the feeling that you get after blessing someone?  Indescribable.

In the past, my husband and I have sponsored Christmas for families around us that wouldn't otherwise get Christmas.  I don't have a need for anything, and I would much rather know that I have given someone else the gift of unconditional love than have another thing collecting dust.  I find information about the family we have selected by whatever means I can without being too obvious.  And when it is all wrapped up and pretty, my husband often gets the job of invisible delivery boy.  Who knew that playing "Nicky Nicky nine doors" as an adult could have such wonderful results?

We have also just dropped off random packages we feel that still small voice telling us that someone needs something.  We have dropped of food to those who have lost a family member, or care packages to those who have recently had a life change.  We have gifted bags to others that we feel God speaking to us about.

There was one lady that we knew at church.  She seems to lead a somewhat lonely life.  She is a beautiful soul who believes that a hug will always make someone feel better.  I had felt God prompting me with her name, so I made a gift package up for her.  She came into the church one afternoon after she had been in a small car accident, only to find that my package was waiting for her.  She told our church secretary that it absolutely made her week to receive a gift at just that moment.  She was worrying how she was going to get from A to B as her car was getting fixed, as she didn't have the extra insurance that covered a rental car.  She was concerned about how much the cost was going to be to get her car fixed.  It was just a really stressful week for her.  And yet here she walks into church, and a gift is waiting just for her.  She knew right then and there that God had this.  She needed only to trust him.  And to this day, she still doesn't know it was me.  Because I am just the delivery person.  The credit goes to Him.

I'm not telling you this to brag, or make you think I have this amazing, simple life that allows me to just do perfect things.  I assure you, that is far from the case.  I am just trying to tell you that sometimes, in the middle of your crazy, you could be an answer to someone else's prayer.  Maybe they are waiting for you to say "Yes" to that still, small voice.

It can be as simple as asking the person next to you how they are.  And actually listening to their response.  I challenge everyone who reads this to see how many hearts they can touch this week.  Tell that cashier that they are really good at their job.  Smile and tell another Mom you know that she is an amazing mother.  Call your parents and thank them for letting you survive your teenage years!

If you have a prayer request, I would feel honoured if you would leave it in the comments below so that I can lift you up in prayer.

Blessings!

Do This To Save Your Sanity

Okay, so this chapter had a LOT of highlighter marks.  And pencilled in notes.  And aha moments.

Hoodwinked - Myth #4: Motherhood Is All-Consuming and All-Fulfilling.  Or maybe not.  I love the way the author writes this chapter, because she is just so honest about her journey.  It hasn't been as shiny and sparkly fun as we all imagine, but a lot of us never actually say those words out loud.  We don't want to feel judged, even though we've all been there at one point or another.

She encourages us to find our own village of moms who will be honest with us about where they are, or with the low moments they've had, and what they did to get beyond them.  And to find people we can be honest with as well.  And we should be willing to be prayer warriors for these women as well. 

We are encouraged to raise our children from our knees.  Now before you get your knickers in a knot, she doesn't mean as a servant to them.  She means to do all of this with God at our sides.  He parted the oceans and had a man swallowed by a whale.  Surely he can get you through today. 

I think one of my favourite quotes from this chapter is, "just because you don't love some of the tasks of child rearing doesn't mean you don't love your child."  Wow.  Just wow.  You would think that might be common sense, but we are often lead to believe that you have to love everything about someone to truly love them.  Which is a farce.  But still, when I look at my kids, it feels like since I love them unconditionally, I should love everything motherhood entails.  But potty training?!?  Who loves potty training?!?  Or those phases with the talking back and eye rolls?!?  That doesn't mean that you don't love your child, you just don't like their behaviour.  And that's okay.  That's actually normal. 

I believe that the encouragement to find your village, utilize those other moms for a shoulder, advice, prayer or just to vent to.  And be there for them to do the same.  Don't replace God with them, just let God use you to help each other get through this.  These women have crossed your path because its part of His divine plan.  Let them in.  All the way in.  You won't regret it!

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the women you have brought into my life.  I am so grateful for all the wisdom and support we can offer each other.  And Lord, for those women who are still searching for their village, I pray that they would find even just one person that they can be real with.  God, help us all to be real about parenting.  And let us feel you there, every step of the way.  We are not alone in this, and we thank you for that.  In your name.  Amen.

If you have any prayer requests, I would be honored to life you up to God today.  Please do not hesitate to ask!

Being "Right"

I can't imagine that any parent has lived their entire life as a parent without uttering some words of thinly veiled "advice", certain that if you could just have that child for a single weekend, you would have them all straightened out.  Because your methods of parenting have produced your perfect children, so why ever would they not work on others?  I mean, you know it all, right?

Oops.

Think of those days where your kids are the ones being judged.  When you pass that woman in the supermarket and she gives you that LOOK.  Or worse, her opinion.  Of how, since your children are having a bad day (since we are all human), your parenting skills seem to be lacking.  Is that moment really the whole story?  Can you look at that situation from the outside and see that maybe they've recently lost someone close to them?  Or maybe one parent has to travel for work, and the kids are having a difficult time adjusting.  There are a million situations happening every day to millions of people, and that moment is one that you only catch a glimpse of the whole story.

I've been there.  I actually had one of my brother's friends parents tell me one day while grocery shopping with my newborn, that I was doing it wrong.  I wasn't mothering right.  And oh those words got a reaction out of me right away that day.  I knew what was wrong with my baby.  She was hungry.  I was going to pick up formula so that I could get home and feed her.  And I was probably going to make it.  Until this woman stopped me to poke at my baby, upset her delicate little mood, and ruin all our days at once.  Then she decided that I wasn't doing it right.  I told her, maybe not so politely, several times since she didn't seem to believe me, that my baby was simply hungry.  And that if she'd just let me go, I could actually rectify that problem pretty quickly. 

But what about those moments where you're already doubting your abilities?  When you question if He really got this right, and that you are capable of getting this child to be a decent adult.  When you question if you're both going to make it that long.  And when all you want is to hear that you are doing a good job.  I can't think of a single time that I've been told I was a good mom that I've ever been insulted to hear it. 

So maybe next time you see that mom in the grocery store, you could tell her you've been there.  And that you can see she is a good mom.  And you can turn both your days around, both leaving that store feeling better for you abilities as a mom.  Seems you have a choice which words you use today.  What will you choose?

"Go forward with confidence - not condescending cockiness - and serve him and your family as you enjoy your unique journey of motherhood."  Page 52.

Heavenly Father, I lift up all of those parents who are weary.  All of us who wonder how we are going to do this all again tomorrow. Help us to remember that you are already there.  Refresh our perspective on your expectations and fill their hearts to overflowing with your love Lord.  In your mighty name.  Amen.

If any of you have a prayer request or would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment, I would love to be one of God's soldiers for you!

Intentional Living

I am lucky enough to be a part of a Mom's small group at my church.  Some weeks we just talk about what is going on in our lives, what we are struggling with, etc., some weeks we do a short study, but my favourite weeks are the ones where other ladies from our church come to share with us.  I am rather shy, and so I don't generally reach out to, well, anyone new really.  But these ladies are brave enough not only to speak to us about their journey's so far, but to reach out to each of us.  We have had a few ladies speak, and they have been totally open and honest about the struggles they have each faced, but also the blessings they have been given.  The bible says that we are to learn from the women older than us, that they are to teach us. 

The first lady who spoke to us is just such an amazing example of God's love and generousity.  She is such a warm, open, loving woman.  She made me feel like a friend the very first day I talked to her.  I was helping with the Grade 3/4 children's church, and even though all of the kids there were more familiar with the bible than me (I am new to all of this!), she didn't make me feel judged at all.  She even recommended other stories in the bible to read of strong women in the bible, since we were studying the story of Esther at the time.  And she even asked me the next week if I had done my homework.  She genuinely cares for each person in her life, and is always willing to welcome others.  That to me is such an amazing quality, and one I hope to develop.

The second lady who came was a mom who adopted her children.  I have never really thought about the costs associated with adoption, much less the heartache both before and after the adoption.  She wanted nothing more than to be a mom, but could not have children herself.  She and her husband chose to adopt Canadian children.  I found out there is a reason so many people choose to adopt from abroad - our social services system is so confusing.  They finally, after many years, have two boys of their own.  And though it is a daily struggle for them to parent these children who have travelled through the system, they wouldn't change a single day of it.  What a testament to parenting and everlasting love!

The lady that came today is very active in our church, so I certainly knew of her, but after today, I realized I knew nothing of her life.  She became a Mom in her teens (3 times over!), married as a teen, and at 20 was a divorced single mother of 3, but she told us that with God's strength, she perservered and met a man who adopted all three of her children.  An amazing man who loves those children as his own, and they also had another child together.  When she was talking, you just got this feeling of strength and determination.  She is someone I would want in my corner for sure! 

She spoke to us today not just about her path, but the most important lesson she has learned which is living intentionally.  That we shouldn't compare our children, they will get enough of that from the world.  We should be their biggest cheerleader through life, and they should never have to feel that they are not measuring up to so-and-so.

We should make sure that our husband is the king of his house.  He should be welcomed every single day.  He goes out to job he may not love, works at least 5 days a week, just to provide for you.  He should feel valued for all he does, and who he is, because if you don't make him feel that way, it is far too easy for someone else to.  No matter what kind of day you've had, always remember that.

We should also put on the armour of God each and every morning.  This seems to be common sense, but I know I don't do it every day.  And who of us wakes up every morning wanting to take on everything just because we don't pause and put on that armour so that we only face the battles we need to?  Not me.

And last, it is important to be vocal about thanking God and including him in our day.  Even if we are just thanking him for getting that parking spot so you wouldn't be late for an appointment.  We are on the front lines, teaching our children how to fight.  We need to make God a visible part of our lives, and we need to be an example to our children to include him in everything so turning to Him will be natural for them.

I know that today I have written alot, and still haven't touched on all that I have learned.  My point is more to live life including God, your husband, and your children, in that order. 

Heavenly Father, help us to be open about our relationship with you.  I thank you for having the opportunity to have heard from so many amazing women, and look forward to hearing more.  I pray that those who don't have these mentors will find a way to reach out to others.  And God, thank you again for all those blessings you have already bestowed on us.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.